rubbing between the legs....

um ok, i knocked on an unnamed relative's door. why was she all spread out on the bed, no shirt on, talking about, "jimmy kimmel got some nice eyes." when i collected my jaw from the floor, i said, "um really, had'nt noticed." she was all like, " no look at him, LOOK AT HIM!" i closed the door and jumped in the shower....with my clothes on. everything needed to be cleansed. i'll be buying some first aid eye rinse solution tomorrow. what time does that walgreen's open?......

The cover letter i WISH i could send...

Dear Ms Nicodemus-Quinn,

I am sending my resume for consideration for the Education Outreach Coordinator position. I am uniquely qualified for this position due to my extensive theatre experience, which includes touring as a Teaching Artist at George Street Playhouse during the 1999-2000 season. Please hire me. I hate my current job as a social worker at a third rate social service non profit agency. the staff is incompent and the kids are ugly. please get me out of this situation. I promise, promise that I will be the best education outreach coordinator that ever lived. I am not a gossip, luv gay people and working downtown. I really really want to become a producer on tlc’s what not to wear. actually I want to start there, then be a producer on tyler’s ultimate on the food channel. I’m easy to work with, have compassion (it won’t be forced like I do at my current job,) and will make everyone laugh. I just don’t know what else to say. hire me.